


At a demon's mercy. William, mend my broken spirit?

by Xbertyx



Series: Ptsd awareness and past trauma related works. [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Brutality, Cutting, F/M, Flashbacks, Gender Issues, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Aftermath, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 07:09:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 6,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4338794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xbertyx/pseuds/Xbertyx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>William finally has the courage to admit his feelings for Grell. Only problem? She's no where to be seen.</p><p> When his search yields no results, he is forced to turn to a foe for help, Sebastian Michaelis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kidnapping.

 William rubbed his tired, over thinking head. Today was the day, he thought to himself. The day he would finally tell that annoying little red head how much he actually loved her.

 As the end of his shift turned to his dinner break, which then turned to an hour from now. That become right at this second, as he felt his cool exterior slip. He just had to tell her. She would look so pleased.

 He walked swiftly, down the hallways to Grell's office. 'She should be there, doing paperwork right now', he thought, as he knocked before entering.

 His brow furrowed in confusion. She wasn't there? Had she gone off to chase that demon, Sebastian again? Still, he felt a tad uneasy, as he closed the door slowly and walked back to the desk in this office.

\-----

 Grell woke with a fright at remembering what had happened earlier. A smack to the back of the head. Cold, cobbled streets as she hit the ground and a menacing voice of a demon, from above her.

 As her senses came back to her, she realised she was chained to a wall, her feet dangling a foot above the ground. The room was so warm. A thick, rotten smelling air congealed around her. This certainly wasn't the human or even the reaper realm. She was in a demon's lair.

 That same voice spoke from across the room, the demon still in its human disguise. It was very tall, over six foot in height, with long limbs and medium length, shaggy, black hair. "Well, my pretty little lady is awake."

 It came close to her, pressing up against her. Her stomach turned as she felt an erection pressing into her leg. "Well this is going to be fun, I'll enjoying ripping every last bit of that spunky personality from your battered body. You see, a month passes for every day up there in the human world. It'll be months, before anyone finds out you're gone and comes searching for you. After a year, I'll dispose of you if I get bored but I'm not certain I will."

 She gritted her sharp teeth. "Screw you, demon. I'm going to kill you!"

 He gripped her throat with one hand, the other slipping up her skirt and into her underwear. "Oh? 'fraid not. You see, your scythe is down there." He said, gesturing to the bottom of the wall, to the left of her. "Well let's begin, I simply cannot wait."

 "Get off me!" She shrieked, as her underwear was torn off. He slid his bottom clothes down and kicked them off. He pulled her legs open, draging her waist forward and up. Slipping between them, he entered her with a large, thick, dry penis.

 Screams of agony erupted from her, as she felt the skin inside her tear, blood seeping between her legs. She gasped through the pain. "I'll fucking kill you!"


	2. Asking the blonde best friend.

 A few weeks had already passed and Grell's fiesty spirit had started to slip. She hadn't been fed, the demon bringing her water, from the human world, once a day. Just to keep her conscious.

 Her insides were red raw, always bleeding, never given the chance to heal. Her clothes had all been ripped off by now and her skin was grubby with dirt, blood and bodily fluids. Her hair was matted and caked in this filth too. Cuts and bruises covered her skin, mingling together. One could not be sure, just by looking, where one ended and the next began.

 "Oh dear, you do look in a sorry state, how lovely." He gripped onto a large, open cut on her chained, outstretched arm and she whimpered feebly.

 She lifted her tired head, hair stuck to her forehead, eyes filled with rage and agony. "Piss off!"

 The demon looked down at his human pocket watch. "Oh look, seems another day has passed down here and no one has come to save you. No one ever will, you're all mine reaper."

 He let his human form slip from his wrist down, large claws pressing into the side of her stomach. He pushed the jagged talon into her skin, sinking it in deep. A large amount of blood erupted, running down her stomach and legs, dripping to the floor.

 She whimpered again. He had done this so many times in the past few days, moving places until her wound healed, then made another one in the same space.

 Pulling his claw out, he pressed it into her other side, repeating the painful process. Her body shook with anger and hurt. He pulled his bottom articles of clothing off again, opening her blood soaked legs, before propelling himself back into her. "Ah! Stop...Al...already!"

 He smirked at her. "Sorry, I do not want to. Your tight little bum feels too nice." An evil grin spread across his features as he saw her eyes begin to water.

\------

 William went into the break room that morning, after one blonde male in particular. The young man sat on a stool, chatting up a few girls from human resources.

 He walked over to him. "Ronald Knox."

 The man in question spun around on his seat. "Oh hey boss, what 'ave I done to upset y' this time?"

 William's eye brow twitched in annoyance. "Nothing for once, Knox, I came here to ask if you had seen Grell in the past 16 hours?"

 He scratched the back of his head. "Na, can't say I 'ave boss. She was meant t' come meet me, at the coffee shop this morning bu' didn't show."

 "And you didn't find that the least bit odd?"

 "Nope, wouldn't be tha' first time, she likes t' sleep in a lot, lady needing 'er beauty sleep 'en all that."

 "Honestly, useless. And you proclaim to be her best friend." With that he walked off, worry grinding away at him.


	3. Give us a snog.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does the Undertaker know anything?

 The second day, still with no sign of Grell, was dragging to a close. He had asked everyone at the headquarters who seemed relevant, if they had seen the redhead but all their answers were negative.

 No body of a reaper had been discovered, neither had her name appeared in any of the ledgers at the branch. Her own ledger and scythe were no where to be found.

 William sighed, giving into the fact that tomorrow morning, he would have to go to that deserter's place of work. He would have to seek information from the Undertaker.

\---

As the last few day's of the first month came into view, any personality and fight from the reaper had been crushed.

 She'd been tortured to within an inch of her reaper life, cut from head to toe and repeatedly and brutally raped, on the hour.

 The demon had started to feed her bread once a day too, with the water, as she would constantly faint in the middle of sobbing, between harsh thrusts. That wouldn't do, it was no fun for the demon, if he couldn't see the pain etched into her pretty features.

 He'd also come and throw a large bucket of water on her, brought from the world above. He would wash her hair and scrub her skin until her cuts reopened and bled. He didn't want her to start smelling, well not too badly, at least.

 Picking up her beloved chainsaw, he pulled the cord to operate it. He pressed it ever so lightly against her thigh,flesh and blood flying in all directions. She choked on a sob, hands clenching, nails drawing blood. "Please, just stop...It hu...hurts so bad." He smirked at her. "Oh no, that's just the way I like it."

\----

 William opened to door to the funeral parlor. He had no idea how he was going to get this information, he couldn't crack a joke if his life depended on it. He feared Grell's life did depend on his success.

 "Oooh, can I be fittin' ye with one of my coffins today, dear Willy."

 "That's not why I came here, Undertaker. I need help finding a dispatch member."

 He picked up a dog biscuit from his bowl, munching on it and swallowing. "Oh yes, our dear little rose is in grave peril, it would seem. However you know the price I ask for such information. Give me a first class laugh!"

 "I, erm, don't know any jokes."

 "Well, how's about a nice, big snog? Bet those cold lips of yours haven't met another's in a long time."

 William just eyed him in horror, unsure of what to do next. The Undertaker fell off his chair, fits of hysterics bouncing off the dark brown walls. "Oh!! Your face was a absolute picture, best laugh I've had all year!!"

 "You did that on purpose, didn't you, Undertaker?"

 "Hehehehe, now that would be telling and please, you know my real name, please address me as such."

 "Very well, Adrian. What do you know? I'm afraid I don't have all day to entertain your sick sense of humour."

 He climbed back onto his chair, explaining that a demon had been spotted, following a beautiful reaper around for a few weeks.

 William felt his anger increase. "You didn't think to come and tell use at branch, Un- Adrian?"

 "Oh no, I do fancy my head staying attached to my shoulders. I am a deserter, after all."

 "Well where is she, where can I locate her?"

 "In the demon realm. You'll have to get a demon to help you. Ask the rose's dear Bassy. You'd be surprised his willingness to help with this one demon."

 When William had returned to his office, to contemplate what he would say to that wretched demon, the door pounded with a loud knock.

 "Jesus, are you trying to bang the door down? Enter."

 Ronald Knox came into view. "Have y' heard anything about Grell? I'm startin' to worry now."

 William recounted the words of the Undertaker. Knox looked surprised. "So we've gotta' go find 'that cold, handsome brute, Bassy?" He said, trying to lighten the mood.

 "I have to, yes."

 "I want to help. She is m' best mate, y' kno'. I'm not as useless as y' 'fink."

 William nodded, understanding. "Very well, meet me by the Phantomhive manor in an hour."

 "Sure thing, boss!" Ronald said, walking to the door.

 "Oh and Knox, I don't have to warn you not to be late. Your tardiness grinds at my nerves."


	4. Love making and retorts.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel / Sebastian post love making session scene. Plus a visit from two male reapers.

 Sebastian stood up from the bed. "What should our plans be for such a fine day, young master?"

 The demon Earl looked up from the bed. "I hardly care, I'm just glad to be back here. Hell was so boring. Anyway, put some bloody clothes on already!"

 Sebastian placed his hand over his heart and bowed slightly. "Yes, my young lord."

 "Oh and Sebastian, don't be so darn rough next time. You almost broke my back and the bed along with it."

"My apologies, Lord." He said, getting dressed. "By any means, today should be interesting. I sense that arrogant repear approaching."

 Ciel yawned. "Yes, seems he's trying to find that slut, who was forever chasing your tail, so bothersome. I assume you're going to help him?"

 Sebastian smirked. "Why yes, I have some unfinished business with that demon, as well as the rest of his clan."

 "Are you sure you're not just secretly fond of Grell?"

 "Of course not, young master, I thought it would just be entertaining for you to witness." He walked over to the bed, learning down to kiss Ciel. "Plus you know I love you and you alone." He said, as he pulled away, hand slipping under the cover to grasp at Ciel.

 "Sebastian, what the hell do you think you're doing. I said enough for today!"

 ---

 Knox wasn't late for a change, as the two male repears went to knock sharply on the manor's door.

 Sebastian opened it, looking amused. "Well, well, what an honour, I've been expecting you."

 The three walked into the sitting room. Ciel looked over at them, a smug expression on his face. "Do you wish me to prepare tea for you two?" Sebastian asked. He received no answer. "No? Very well, as you wish."

 "We need your help to find Grell, will you assist us?", William asked, not bothering with idle chit chat.

 "Yes I will. That demon has been a hindrance for both me, aswell as for my master while he was working as the Queen's guard dog.

 "Great! Thanks 'Bassy'. Knox said, "let's ge' goin'."

 "I'm afraid it will have to wait until tomorrow. Meet us here at noon. Me and the master have some...business to attend to right away."

 "No, we have to go now, she could be hurt!" William stated, through gritted teeth.

 "I do not care for your pointless feelings for that cow," Ciel said, yawning again. "If he's been there for 90 days already and is still alive, another 30 will just toughen him up a bit.

 Knox pulled a confused expression. "Say wa' now?"

 "Idiots, do you know nothing? A day here is just a thirtieth of the time in a demon realm, even a moron knows that." Ciel retorted.

The two reapers were in shock. She'd been in the demon realm for 90 days already? William could only imagine the torment she was being put through, if she was even alive. He shook the thought from his mind as Knox spoke again. "Wha' would a demon want from 'er, for such a long time?" 

"Probably torture, knowing that foul clan." Said Ciel. 

"Then we need to go get 'er now!" Ronald urged. 

"We already said we are busy until tomorow. Now get out of my sight before I order Sebastian to change his mind. I detest the smell you reapers give off."

 They didn't have a choice and left, both hoping Grell would last until tomorrow. 24 hours left. 'Just another thirty days to go for her'.

 Sebastian returned to the sitting room, newspaper in hand. "I expect you know already that I wish to come with you tomorrow?" Ciel questioned.

 Sebastian smiled happily. "I would expect nothing less from my blood thirsty master. It will simply be one hell of a show."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is just going to be another rape scene. Just warning you, feel free to skip.


	5. Burning from release.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Currently watching Junjo Romantica. It's so beautiful and as such this scene hasn't the brutality as bad as originally intended. Still pretty horrid though. Feel free to skip this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rape scene. A horrible one.

 Her body quivered with agony and fear, mouth turned downwards in a scowl, sharp teeth exposed.

 There was nothing left to her anymore, she was just an empty shell, where once lived a fiery, passionate being. If they had just killed her sooner or if help had arrived, she would have been okay, if not slightly more wary of demons.

 No. It had gone on for far too long. She was lonely, in pain and absolutely traumatised. They had ripped her into shreds, right in her most intimate area. She'd been waiting, hoping William would one day take her purity, making sweet love to her as he breathed those all important three words.

 It had been taken from her by force and she felt dirty, filthy even. Her insides felt like rotting flesh, nothing but grime left. That burned her deeper than what was about to take place.

 The demon entered his home, some other being dressed in human form behind him. The first demon walked up to her, chain in hand. He looped one end through the other, before lifting it over the reaper's head, sliding it down and pulling it tight around her neck.

 He held the end of it with vice like grip, as the other demon undid her wrists from the wall. "Don't be thinkin' of escaping now little one, unless you want both our dicks ripping you open at the same time. Lacros, hand me that chain."

 The second demon then dragged her to the floor, forcing her onto her hands and knees. "You were right, dear brother, he is a very pretty one."

 Grell shook with fear and anger, whispering the word. "She."

 The demon with the chain walked in front of her. "Oh you're a cheeky little one. Hmm, we'll be needin' to fuck that right out of you."

 As the two Demons took their clothes off, chain still in the one's hand, they let their human form slip off, from just their members and hands.

 Grell eyed it, frozen in horror. They were thick, long things, lined with spines all the way from base to tip.

 The second demon laughed. "Oh? Someone scared? This is gonna' be painful, don't worry about that". Lacros kneeled behind her, claw pressing into the skin on her back. He pushed down with force, claws hitting Grell's spine, blood seeping from the small hole. Her body went numb, before an intense shooting pain shot up her back.

 She cried out in agony. The second demon leaned down too, kneeling in front of her face. He pressed his spiny member to her mouth, snagging it on her lip and drawing blood. "Suck it, lil' whore and don't even think of bitin'. If you do, I'll be sure to rip out that cute Adam's Apple of yours with this thing.

 He pushed into her mouth, which immediately started filling with blood and she gagged. He just smirked and pushed himself in deeper. Lacros gripped her hips, skin bruising under the force.

 She cried out in merciless pain, blood tricking down her legs as spines ripped into the soft, warm flesh inside of her.

 With a few more forward motions of his hips, the second demon released thick, black liquid into her mouth. He pulled out and she whimpered as the torn skin burnt and blistered.

 "Dear, I'm afraid we forgot...To...mention that in our true form...Our...semen is quite toxic to repears and humans alike. Oh well." Lacros said, between grunts of pleasure.

 He moved a hand around to her reproductive organ, stroking on it before pumping it roughly. "Hmm, think you're enjoying this, little one."

 She let out a throaty groan, "Hn, ahhh," as his penis hit her prostate, tearing at skin and sending a sickening mergence of pain and pleasure through her.

 "No...", she whimpered, as her body grew hot with panic. Breath turned to wheezes as she gripped the floor and struggled to keep her breath steady. Her chest rose and fell manicly, vision blurring.

 "Oh don't go having a panic attack on us dear, that's not sexy." Lacros said, pounding into her at a shattering pace. She came hard into his hand as he released himself into her, scalding the skin.

 He pulled out and her tired body gave way, crumbling to the ground. Her breath drew heavier as tears clouded her vision even more.

 The second demon wrapped the end of the chain around a large, sturdy pole, having just flipped her on her back. Lacros watched as the other pounded into her, pressing her wrists into the ground above her head.

 She just lay there wheezing, staring up at the ceiling. She wished William would come and find her. She wanted to be lying in his arms, as they cuddled against each other.

 She wanted to lay a tired head on Ronald's lap, as he read her new favourite romance to her, lulling her to sleep whenever she hung out with her friend and decided to "stay at his place overnight." 'Please come find me. I'm begging you.'


	6. Into the ridged tomb of shock.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only 3 chapters left maybe?

 The abuse only got worse as the days dragged on. Sharp genitals pummeling her broken body. The demon breaking each of her fingers, one by one until they would heal, then he would do it again. The demon delighted in hearing her pained, quiet cries, her emaciated body barely able to summon a reaction.

 He'd become extra cruel, telling her how she would never be a female, she was just some dirty poof, as he forced her to climax again and again against his hand, while he ripped her insides up. Those statements cut Grell to the core.

 "Right then, let's be kickin' us some demon arse!" Ronald said, as Sebastian and Ciel were about to port them over to the demon realm.

 "Ronald, just keep your wits about you. Err on the side of caution and be careful with those glasses. Demons are revolting, deceiving creatures." The other reaper stated, sending daggered looks at the two demons.

 "Oh right, Boss, sorry 'bout that."

 They ported over to the realm, where they saw a shaking redhead pressed into the floor, the demon ramming into her. "Just wha' the 'ell do you think you're doin ', get y' filthy hands off 'er!" Ronald shouted.

 The demon pulled out of the whimpering form. "Oh, I didn't expect to see you here, 'Sebastian'. Never mind, you shall all be crushed!"

 The two reapers moved in for the attack, trying to jump the demon, while Grell looked up shakily to spot her death scythe. Ronald was thrown backwards, as the other reaper was pulled forward by his collar. The demon went to aim a deadly strike at him, arm pulling back into a fist.

 A splat of sticky blood shot out onto William's face, as the Demon's head was sawn off, killing it. The figure fell to the floor, lifeless.

 William gasped at the sight of the female reaper holding her chainsaw, hair in congealed tufts and one eye nearly swollen shut. Her body so boney. She was panting heavily, barely standing on chattering legs. Blood dripped to the floor at her feet. 

 Tears slipped from her eyes and she fell, hitting the floor harshly. William and Ronald, who's vision had gone blurry from a crack in his glasses, raced to sink down next to her.

 William pressed a towel against her wound, that he had brought in his brief case along with a thin blanket, unsure of what condition the redhead would be in. He wrapped the blanket around her bottom half, to hide her immodesty.

 The deep wound leaked blood, staining the towel at a fast pace. Suddenly, her body started to twitch and convulse before going stiff. "Shit, boss, we gotta' get 'er to the infirmary, now! She's going inta' shock."


	7. Traumatised, pressed against a hospital bed.

 After thanking Sebastian, once he had ported them back to the human world, they raced her to the infirmary.

 The Dr looked up from his desk as they entered, worry spreading across his face. "What happened to her?"

 Ronald, out of breath, explained. "It was a demon, he kidnapped 'er and took 'er to tha' demon realm. She's hurt pretty bad, please do somethin'."

 The doctor nodded at the pair. "Please come with me." He led them down the hallway to an empty room with a bed. "Please lay her on here."

 He then looked down at the stiff figure, tears still running down her face. "I'll have to clean her wounds, to examine her for any lasting damage." He walked over to the sink, wetting a few cloths. Wiping the blood off, she began to stir.

 Small sobs and whimpers escaped her and Ronald bent down next to her and held her hand. "It's gunna' be alright, babe, you're safe now."

 "She has broken fingers, which look to have halfway healed. Erm...A cracked collar bone and various cuts and deep punctures. Also trauma to her... no never mind. Did you witness what they did to her?"

 "Ye' we did, she was being...". Ronald cut his sentence off, voice cracking in anger.

 William spoke up. "Yes, it was quite awful to witness, she was there for almost four days, judging by my calculations."

 The doctor looked up, worried. "Subjected to such things for one hundred and twenty days? Oh my. Well the good news is her body will be healed in a day of so. Her mind however...She seems very traumatised."

 At that point, Grell shot up in the bed, hand being ripped away from Ronald's. William rushed closer to her as she screamed and thrashed around. He tried to hold her still, to not let her wounds reopen. Grell made a "n" sound and went to punch William as he pushed her down against the bed.


	8. Tranquil, oblivious bliss.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking 2-3 more chapters.

 William grimaced as Grell's fist hit him, angry pink mark showing up on his skin immediately. He pinned her arms at her sides as the Dr raced about, rummaging in his medicine box for something. Locating what he was looking for, he ran over to the bed and pulled one of Grell's arms from under William's grip.

 Her eyes were filled with panic and confusion, before a needle was pushed into her vein. Her body fell limp as her eyes slid shut.

 "What did you do that to her for? What good will pumping her full of drugs do?" William asked, angrily.

 "I'm sorry but I couldn't risk her hurting someone or herself. Her mind is dealing with a lot of stress at present. In the process of trying to deal with this awful experience, she will lash out."

 "What exactly was tha' you injected in 'er?" Ronald asked.

 The doctor looked around at him. "A horse tranquiliser. A human one would not keep a reaper body asleep for much more than a few minutes. I don't want her waking back up quite yet, in such a state."

 Hand on hip, the Dr continued. "I will write a sick note for Grell, for as long as she needs. The council wouldn't want to risk her being on duty, acting out of sorts."

 He turned to William. "You're quite fond of her aren't you, Mr Spears?"

"I erm..." A small blush washed across William's cheeks. 

 "It's quite clear to see, I will also give you a note. You will look after her until she is back to her normal self. However long that may take. Your vice supervisor will take over the collection department, for now.  Ronald, I will submit a note to the council, reducing your work days from five, down to two. Fully paid for all of you of course. Her practical skills are excellent so I doubt they will argue. Plus the rules state a Dr's orders are absolute. You will be in charge of helping her through this ordeal too."

 The Dr paused for a moment and then continued. "You're her best friend, you will console her in hard times and try to cheer her up. I won't bother stitching her up, her body is already healing. Mr Spears, take her home. I also want you to bring her in every other day, so I can look at her mental state."

 He handed a few more needles to William. "Take these just in case, if she seems in danger by her own hands, please use them. I know it's hard to do, but it will be for the best."

 William ported the two of them to Grell's flat, while Ronald went home for the night. He would come around tomorrow, as he would be off work.

 William thought it would be best staying at Grell's, instead of his own large flat. A familiar setting would ease her, he hoped.

 He lay the sleeping reaper down on the bed, after pulling the covers back. He slipped in next to her, pulling the covers over them and eased her into his arms. "I'm sorry I couldn't stop this ordeal from happening to you. I know you aren't able to hear me right now, but I...I love you, reaper Grell Sutcliff."


	9. Screams in the night.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woah guys!! Thanks so much for all the views. I've had like 100 nearly on this one in the past 24 hours and nearly three hundred on "pleasure seekers." Plus some kudos and lovely comments. I feel so humbled :) I love writing it's really helping with some personal issues. Thanks again!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this chapter myself. It's sad and sweet. Based off my personal experiences with ptsd, especially the hallucinations.

 William woke up around 6am, to find Grell struggling against him in her sleep, a wet patch soaking into this pj bottoms.

 He pulled the covers back quickly, hoping she hadn't started to bleed again. She hadn't, he realised. She was having some sort of horrific nightmare which had ended up with her having an accident.

 "Oh, my poor girl." He said, lifting her out of bed and taking her to the bathroom to clean her up. He had already claimed her as his own, being certain from past experiences that she only had eyes for him.

 After cleaning her and changing his clothes, he lay her sleeping form on the sofa, placing a blanket on her and kissing her atop the head. "So beautiful, even in sleep."

 As he walked away he heard her whimper. He rushed off into the bedroom. He wouldn't leave her alone for long.

 As he had just finished changing the bed sheets before they could start to smell, he heard a bang and a loud shriek. Rushing back into the living room, he saw Grell thrashing around on the floor, wide awake and looking terrified.

 He knelt down and pulled the blanket away from her, before she got too tangled up in it and gripped her wrists softly, with just enough force to keep her from jerking away.

 She sat up and tried to pull away. He ended up falling against her, both landing against the floor. He shifted slightly. His body had fallen in between her nude thighs, hands pressing her arms against the floor, at the side of her body.

 She tried to wriggle out from under him, wrists struggling under his palms. She was trying to shut her legs, obviously to prevent another sexual assault from taking place. It was clear to see she was hallucinating, thinking she was stuck under that awful demon.

 He let her go and sat up, realising that holding her down was doing nothing to calm her. She curled up on the floor, drawing her knees up to her chest, sobs wracking her whole body as a hand went up to shield her face.

 William leaned over, placing his hand on her shoulder to try and comfort her. She choked on a gasp and sat up, backing away quickly, scooting up to press her bare back against the nearest wall.

 She pulled her knees up to herself again, face laying pressed against them. She cried harder, pathetic sobs bouncing around the room. William walked to go and sit next to her. He let his fingers brush through her hair. She tensed then relaxed slightly and he pulled her sideways, wrapping his arms around her softly.

 He let her cry against his shoulder, until her eyes ran dry. Resting his mouth against her hair, he kissed her gently on the head, breathing out between pecks, "It's all going to be okay, I promise. I'll protect you, there's no need to feel frightened. I'll never leave your side again."

 The next day dragged on in much the same way. She would fall asleep, exhausted from crying, only to wake up shortly after, screaming her lungs out, trying to push a non existent being off of her.

 She'd had several more accidents and when Ronald had come over, William had given him some money and asked him to go out and buy some more bed linen. Grell didn't have enough to keep washing them so often.

 When she calmed slightly, she just sat there staring at the nearest wall, never uttering a word. She hadn't spoken since they had rescued her. Whenever anyone tried to touch her or come too close when she was like this, she would just move away as quickly as she could, eyes glazed over with fear.

 Ronald hadn't been able to get her to laugh or even smile, though he really had tried his hardest. She also hadn't eaten a thing since returning. Still, William was hopeful the Dr would be able to give some advice at their appointment at 6pm, later that day.


	10. Pure as snow.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another cute chapter if I do say so myself. William really does gave a sweeter side to him.  
> Also description of ptsd. To try and raise awareness in my own little way. Enjoy. Last but one chapter.

 Grell was lying on the bed, curled up around a pillow. Her eyes looked empty, a gateway to her broken soul.

 The doctor and William had manged to hold her still enough for the Dr to check her over. He explained how her body was still in stress, a fight or flight reaction still present. She was still scared about being attacked again and her body couldn't relax properly.

 He had diagnosed her with PTSD. Post traumatic stress disorder. A type of anxiety disorder, caused by some sort of awful, threatening and sometimes life changing event. The symptoms included nightmares, vivid flashbacks, feelings of guilt, isolation and constant dread of new threats, as well as old ones returning.

 He had told both William and Knox to be patient with her, maybe asking her to open up more about what had happened to her and how she was feeling inside. He also told William to make sure she ate, once they went home as it may help her feel a little better.

 William sat on the bed where Grell was lying, looking down to face her. He sighed softly, sadness tugging at his heart over what his lover was going through. "Grell?"

 She looked up at him wide eyed. "I know you're scared of everything right now and I just want to tell you that I love you so much and will never hurt you." She sat up on the bed, hugging her arms to herself.

 William spoke again, as softly and non pushy as he could manage. "Would you ... you like a cuddle?" She looked over at him again, eyes glazing over with tears. She nodded slightly.

 He learned over and scooped her up in his arms, feeling her breath turn shaky. She tried to control her nerves, snuggling up to him. He cupped his fingers under her chin, looking into her eyes. "I love you so much."

 She opened her mouth so say something but then closed it again, glancing to the side of her. He pressed his lips against hers. She clenched against him at first and then relaxed again, opening her mouth for him. His tongue slid against hers gently as her hands tightened slightly on his tshirt.

 They had stayed cuddled up together for an hour, before William asked, "What would you like to eat? You need some nutrition, you're already tiny enough as it is."

 She opened her mouth to speak but the words wouldn't come out. She tried again. "Er ... to ... toast ... Please ...Will." Her voiced was croaky from days of not uttering a word.

 William smiled slightly, going into the kitchen to prepare her food. He came back with a plate and cup of tea for her in hand. She just looked at it.

 "What's wrong? Have I got to feed you now, too?" She just smiled at him sheepishly. Her first smile in over four months.

 He sighed, amused. "Well alright." He said, tearing off a small piece of toast and laying it in her open mouth. "You can drink your own tea yourself. I don't think there's a way for me to drink it for you."

 They went to bed early that night, cuddled under the quilt. William woke up, to an empty bed at 3am that morning. He jumped out of bed to go looking for his partner. As he went past the kitchen door, he heard faint sobbing.

 He pushed the door open to see what was happening. Grell was curled up against a wall, knife thick with her own blood, crying and muttering to herself. "Just a useless homo, just a freak. Never been a woman, no never. He stole it from me. Not a woman! never a woman."

 William rushed into the kitchen, grabbing a clean tea towel and prying the knife from her clenched fist before applying pressure to her deepest cuts, straight across her wrists.

 "Grell? What's wrong? Love, tell me what's the matter."

"I'm just a freak! Just a dirty whore, just a useless poof! I'm not a woman at all, I'm impure, impure, unclean!" She yelled at him at the top of her voice, before sobbing again.

 He lifted her chin, eyes meeting her puffy ones. "You're no such thing Grell, you're a beautiful young woman. You'll always be a woman to me." He pulled her into a hug and she cried some more.

 "But he stole it from me, I was waiting for you to ... It was taken from me. I'm just used trash now. I don't deserve you." She breathed out, more quietly this time, voice starting to crack.

 "What on earth? Grell what are you taking about? Stolen what?"

 She gagged on her cries, feeling sick to her stomach at herself, vomit coming up all over William's top. He just pulled away, taking it off and wiping the liquid from her mouth before hugging her again.

 "I mean ... My ... vir ... virginity."

 William was taken aback, never realising she had been saving herself for him the whole time. The thought made him smile, though he felt bad for making her wait for so long. 

 He hugged her tighter, whispering. "No matter what that demon did to you, I still think you're pure as snow. I still think of you as a Virgin. Thank you for giving me such an honor."

She sniffed. "Oh, William ... My sweet William. "


	11. Take me as your own.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So happy with how this fix turned out. Quite proud of it. So cute :)

 He had bandaged her up that morning, taking her back to bed and holding her as tight to him as possible. She had drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

 From the next day, she had started to improve. She ate by herself but would still throw up after almost every item of food. She'd gag and cry over the disgust she felt deep inside her. William would clean her up and hold her until her stomach settled and her tears ceased. 

 Over the next week or so, she had started to open up to the two male reapers about what she had gone through. William had to hold back his own angry tears at hearing such revolting things. Ronald had gotten so angry, he had punched a hole in the wall, scaring Grell half to death in the process.

 Still, she had started to smile more and Ronald had kept her mind occupied from horrible memories, by playing cards with her and cracking lame jokes. By the end of the second week he had coaxed her outside the safety of her house to go relax at the coffee shop. He had also taken her to the book store and brought her all the romance novels she wished for. He would read them to her in the nights she couldn't sleep, giving William a chance to catch up on slumber in his bed. 

 Ronald would also sneak up on her and tickle her sides. She would jump up in fright and then grin widely, baring her sharp teeth. She'd then turn around and smack him on the arm with the back of her hand, mumbling about not scaring a lady in such a way.

 Her nightmares and flashbacks began to fade into the past, the rare ones never being as extreme as they used to be. Still, she was jumpy and cried a lot out of fear and awful memories.

 After a few months recovering at home, she had put back on most of the weight she had lost. She settled back into a normal routine and they all returned to work.

 Ronald stayed by her side all the time, during every assigment. She felt safe while he was there. She seemed to be feeling happier day by each passing day.

 One night her and William were cuddling and kissing, hands sliding under clothing, brushing against skin. Grell looked up at William, eyes full of love for the other. "William. I think I'm ready, for you to claim my body as your own." She breathed.

 "Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured."

 "I'm quite sure."

 He had prepared her lovingly, spending an hour on foreplay, with small touches and soft kisses and nibbles to her neck and chest.

 She looked up at him, slight worry and sadness crossing her features. " William, darling?"

 "Hmm?"

 "Do you still think of me as a Virgin? You haven't changed your mind, have you? I don't disgust you?"

 "You'll never disgust me Grell, I still see you as pure."

 "Then take me as yours."

 He kissed her passionately, before pulling away. "It would be my pleasure."

 She turned to lay on her stomach. "Grell, what are you doing? I want to look at those beautiful eyes of yours while we make love."

 She lay on her back once more, eyes glistening with happy, unshed tears. She felt so lucky to have such a kind, loving man as him. He entered her with his slick member, laying still and then moving softly within her. It hurt more than she was expecting and tears slipped from her eyes.

 William wiped the tears away, kissing her softly, before speaking. "It's okay love, just relax and breath. I'll try my best to be gentle."

 Pain turned to pleasure. Mouths connected and bodies merged as one, small needy touches and moans passing between them.

 They climaxed together, clinging to each other as they regained their shaking breaths. William turned to his love. "I love you so much, you make me so happy."

 "I love you too William, thank you so much for saving me. You make me feel so safe."

 He kissed her again, hand soothing against her hair. "I'll always keep you safe."


End file.
